The Score

I woke up at 2:30 am on the morning of my test. Restless, labyrinthine dream startled me awake. From what I remember, I was lost in dark woods and the only way to escape was to answer unanswerable equations shouted at me by angry voices.

Needless to say, the test was on my mind.

I was able to drift back into a light snooze, only to wake up at 5:00, well before my 6 am alarm. Immediately alert, I climbed into a steamy shower to shake off the ill, chilly feeling that always accompanies my stomach churning nerves. After a long, hot soak, I toweled off, ran some deodorant over my underarms, threw on a comfortable hoodie and two-day old jeans, and sat on the couch to work the 10 warmup questions I'd prepared the day before. By the time I finished, Sam was up and making me toast. As is always the case when I'm nervous early in the morning, each bite was laborious and unpleasant. I finally gave up after half of a piece- just enough to keep me from passing out before lunch.

By 8:00 she was ready and we were walking out the door. It took us 25 minutes to get to the testing center and, as I'd planned the route the day before, I arrived at the front door without a problem. Sam kissed me, said she'd be back in 3 hours, and gave me a good-luck squeeze.

The testing center was bustling with more people than I'd expected. Out of the 10 people in the room, it appeared that only 4 of us were taking the GMAT (you could tell because they were all reading GMAT specific instructions and non-disclosure agreements.) One white-faced guy about my age wore an Iowa Baseball sweater and, upon seeing the Oxford University insignia on my hoodie, turned from egg shell white to almost translucent. I hadn't even thought that my hoodie- a gift from Sam after visiting Oxford- would give people the impression that they were about to take a test next to an Oxford grad. Poor guy- I, of course, did not go to Oxford.

After a few minutes the receptionist called me to the front, examined my ID, asked me to sign my signature on an electronic pad, scanned my finger print, and took a picture of me. She then told me to choose a locker on the other side of the room and lock everything up but my ID. Funny enough, I suddenly became very superstitious about which locker number I chose. Seven was taken- lucky seven, I guess. Thirteen was not, of course. "Ah, seventeen" I thought, "my birthday." Man, pressure make you do strange things.

So, with my watch, cell phone, wallet and water bottle stowed, I sat and waited to be called for the second time. It wasn't long before I was standing at the door to the testing room, swiping my fingerprint, and presenting my ID. The test proctor also asked me to turn out my pockets, including my hood. Pat-down done, she handed me my tablet, a pen, and a package of ear plugs and led me through a door and to me seat.

I stuffed the earplugs in and started clicking the "Next" button. I'd already read all the instructions via the practice software. The essay section started soon after and before I knew what I was doing, I was pounding away at my keyboard. After what felt like 10 minutes, I'd finished two 30 minute essays and was taking my first break.

After a visit to the bathroom, a swig of water, a quick walk around the hallway, and the same "ID, fingerprint, pocket check" routine, I was back at my seat. The math section was next and it passed more or less and I expected. Obviously, you don't know how you're doing as you proceed, but I felt as though the questions were as hard as they'd been when I did well on my practice tests. Without reading too much into the difficulty of each question, I answered the first 10 carefully, the middle 15 with some haste, and basically guessed on the last five or six. If this had been my first time taking the exam, I would've been freaking out about guessing on so many questions. However, I know that the latter 3rd of the test doesn't have a dramatic effect on your score.

Done with the Quantitative, I gratefully took advantage of another 5 minute break. However, knowing that I was about to take my strongest section, I was quick to reclaim my seat. Unlike the math section, I was able to pace through the verbal section without a problem. I finished the section with a few minutes to spare. In fact, it was all I could do not to guess on the last few questions as I began to feel an almost irresistible desire to see my score.

As soon as my time expired, the program shifted to a demographic questionnaire. I'd already filled it out ahead of time, so I simply clicked through each screen until I arrived at what has to be one of the biggest mind-fucks in the history of standardized testing: a screen that essentially says, "Do you want to see your score now? If so, click "Yes." If not, click "No." Clicking yes means that your score will be permanently recorded. Clicking no will erase your answers and eradicate your test."

I'd paid $250, taken two days off of work, purchased $50 worth of books, and studied for countless hours all for this moment. There was simply no way in hell I was going to flush my score. Careful to select, "Yes" I brushed the "Next" button and waited as a little hourglass decided my fate.

About 20 seconds later, I saw one number: 720.

After a few minutes of silent elation, I read the rest of the report:

Scaled_______Score_______Percentile
Quantitative____45__________78
Verbal________44__________97
Total________720__________96

I wont receive my essay scores for a few weeks, but I have a feeling that I did well enough.

So, here ends my GMAT quest and, as a result, Drapier vs. GMAT. I was able to climb my mountain and, in so doing, I did something that I will be proud of for the rest of my life. But, more than anything else, my GMAT journey was about reigniting my imagination. Yes, I wanted to give myself options- to enable dreams and substantiate my place among the best business school candidates in the world. But I didn't start studying six months ago to supplement a graduate school application. Rather, I set out to find inspiration- and, honestly, I have.

Now, on to the next quest ... Drapier vs. MBA?

Emerson vs. GMAT

"Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Testing Center Visit

Because I don't want any surprises tomorrow morning, I made the 20 minute drive to the testing center today. I'm glad I did. Not only do I know which streets to take and which to avoid, but I was also able to familiarize myself the the center's layout.

It's smaller and cozier than I expected. No more than 14 terminals sit in the testing room. The folks at the front desk were friendly and perfectly happy to answer my questions. Upon my request, they showed me the center's "scratch paper." It's actually a laminated, 4-page, legal-sized, yellow spiral notepad. They provide you with a few pens and as many as 4 notepads at a time.

They also double-checked to make sure that my appointment was schedules as expected. It was, thank God. The testing center is pretty picky about identification (for obvious reasons) so we also made sure that the name they had- my full name- matched my driver's licence. They also noted that I would do well to leave as many of my personal things at home or in my car as possible. No keys, cell phones, wallets, or watches are allowed in the testing room. They'll give me a locker if necessary and, from what I gather, the only things I can take into the room are my ID, my locker key, my clothes, and my brain. They even provide their own ear plugs lest some unscrupulous test taker decide to sneak in a fake one-way ear receiver.

The trip was definitely worth an hour on the day before the test.

Practice Tests

An update on my practice tests:

Last weekend I took one of the official GMAT practice tests. I scored 670.

Yesterday I took the second and final official practice test. I scored 740.

The difference between the two? Aside from a week's worth of study, I was noticeably calmer the second time around. The first time I took the test, I sat right down and took it cold. The second time, I chewed on a few difficult review questions right before I started. Also, during my latest test I missed fewer questions out of each section's first 10, which I attribute to taking my time and double checking my first few answers. Actually, I missed more overall questions on the second test. Hell, because my pace was slower up front, I ran out of time and ended up guessed on the last 5 quantitative questions. I still scored well beyond my 700 target, which lends credence to the theory that getting the first questions correct is far more important that nailing the later questions.

Ultimately, I feel calmer now. I completely believe that I can make it to the top of this mountain. In 24 hours, we'll know if I'm right.

Another interesting note: I have received higher math scores than verbal scores on every single practice test I've taken- a surprising feat considering I have a degree in English and I have answered as many as 36 out of 41 verbal questions correctly.

So, how much does a test mean anyway?

Granted, grad school and undergrad are markedly different, but I think these observations are worth contemplating on the eve of my test ...

Point of No Return

I take the GMAT in 3 days. To prepare, I've taken the next two days off. I plan to take at least two practice tests, review my incorrect answers, briefly practice writing the essays, and generally trying to reinforce what I've already learned.

This is it- the final leg of a long journey. I'm sure I'll post at least once more before Saturday morning.

By the way, in case you're keeping score at home, I got a 670 on an official GMAT practice test.